Start to Heal Your Wounded Inner Child
Jul 14, 2025
The wounded inner child lives in all of us.
She is the voice behind your insecurities, the tension in your relationships, the fear that blocks love, truth, and self-trust.
Most of us carry this child into adulthood without ever realizing it—and until she is seen, heard, and healed, she will continue to shape our lives from the shadows.
In this guide, I will walk you through six powerful steps to begin healing your inner child, not by blaming the past, but by reclaiming your present.
What You’ll Need
Before beginning this inner journey, prepare:
- A safe and quiet space where you won’t be interrupted.
- A journal or voice recorder to track your reflections.
- An open heart and willingness to feel discomfort with gentleness.
- (Optional) Support from a therapist, mentor, or emotional guide.
Step-by-Step Guide to Healing the Wounded Inner Child
Step 1: Acknowledge That She Exists
We cannot heal what we deny.
The first step is to recognize that your inner child is present. She shows up in the moments you feel rejected, overreact, collapse into guilt, or strive to please others at your own expense.
Action: Close your eyes and say aloud, “I know you’re there. I’m ready to listen.” Let her respond through sensation, emotion, or even silence.
Step 2: Understand Where Her Pain Comes From
Your childhood doesn’t need to have been “dramatic” to leave wounds. Emotional absence, high expectations, punishment for feelings, or pressure to be perfect all leave deep imprints.
Insight: Many of our caregivers were doing their best—but lived in societies where emotional presence didn’t matter, where survival and obedience came first.
Action: Reflect on this journal prompt: “What didn’t I receive as a child that I deeply needed?”
Step 3: Identify Her Survival Strategies
To deal with unmet needs, your inner child likely developed strategies: being overly good, manipulating for attention, shutting down feelings, or using sexuality to feel power or control.
Action: Ask yourself, “What behaviors do I repeat that feel like protection but aren’t truly me?”
Bring loving awareness to these patterns—not judgment. They once kept you safe.
Step 4: Begin Reparenting Her
She no longer needs to be in control—you are the adult now. But she needs to feel your presence, protection, and love to trust again.
Action: Choose one daily act of emotional reparenting:
- Write her a letter of reassurance.
- Place your hand on your heart and say, “You are safe now.”
- Give her what she missed: softness, permission to cry, rest, or play.
Step 5: Release Stored Emotions in the Body
The wounded inner child doesn’t live in your mind—she lives in your nervous system.
Crying alone is not a weakness. Rage doesn’t make you broken. These are energies that must move for healing to happen.
Action: Dance, weep, scream into a pillow, breathe deeply, or sit with a trusted guide as emotions arise. Let the child in you express what she couldn’t then.
Step 6: Choose Conscious Relationships That Don’t Repeat the Past
Once you begin this work, it becomes easier to spot the places where your inner child still runs the show: clinging to unavailable people, fearing abandonment, rejecting love out of mistrust.
Action: Ask: “Is this connection feeding my wounded child or helping me grow into my whole self?”
Surround yourself with people who honor your truth, not those who echo your past wounding.
Tips and Best Practices
- Be patient. Inner child healing is not linear—it happens in layers.
- Avoid self-judgment. Survival patterns are not flaws; they’re wisdom that protected you.
- Let love in. Seek safe spaces, therapies, and relationships that support you in re-learning what love truly feels like.
Troubleshooting
- Feeling overwhelmed? Slow down. Focus on creating safety before going deeper.
- Can’t feel your inner child? That’s okay. Numbness is a sign she learned to hide. Keep showing up gently.
- Triggered by past memories? Seek support from a trauma-informed professional. You don’t have to do this alone.
This work doesn’t just change you, it changes generations. Because when we love the child inside, we stop passing down the wounds that shaped us.
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