For those who slowly disappeared, trying to make things work.

There’s a quiet moment in many relationships. A moment that doesn’t look like a crisis from the outside, when something in you starts to fade. You’re still there, still doing your part, still sharing a home, a bed, a routine… but inside, you feel a growing silence. A feeling that you are no longer fully present. That you’ve become someone else. Or worse, no one at all.

I hear this so often, especially from people who genuinely want to make it work. They didn’t fall out of love overnight. But they stopped feeling like themselves along the way.

And if you’re in this place right now, I want to tell you something very simple and very important:

You don’t need to keep disappearing to be loved.

Why We Start to Hide

From the moment we’re born, most of us are taught, directly or indirectly, that some parts of us are too much, too messy, too inconvenient.

Maybe you cried as a child and heard, “Stop it. You’re being dramatic.” Or maybe you were joyful and wild, and someone told you to calm down, behave, be nice.

Over time, we learn that in order to receive love… we must behave.

So it’s no surprise that in our adult relationships, we start doing the same thing.

We shrink.

We perform.

We hide what we really feel.

We want peace, not conflict.

We want to be accepted, not abandoned.

So we stop saying what we need. We don’t speak up when something hurts.

We go quiet. We go small.

Until one day, we look in the mirror and realize:

I’m still here. But I’ve lost myself.

Losing Yourself Is Not Love

Real love is not about pleasing the other person at the cost of your own truth.

It’s not about becoming smaller so they don’t get upset.

It’s not about hiding your sadness, your frustration, your boredom, your dreams, your desires, just to keep the relationship afloat.

That’s not love. That’s fear in disguise.

And if you’ve been living like this, in fear of conflict, fear of rejection, fear of being “too much”, I want you to know that you are not alone. And it’s not your fault.

But now… it is your responsibility.

“I gave everything. And I allowed it. That was my responsibility.” - Satya

Because continuing to abandon yourself, day after day, is not sustainable.

Eventually, the body speaks. The heart closes. The desire fades. The joy disappears. The resentment builds.

This is when people start saying:

“I don’t want to go home anymore.”

“I don’t want them to touch me.”

“I feel more alive with other people than I do with my partner.”

It doesn’t start with cheating. It starts with hiding.

So What Can You Do?

1. Be Honest — First with Yourself

Before you try to fix anything, take time to sit with yourself.

Ask:

• What am I really feeling in this relationship?
• What parts of myself have I stopped expressing?
• What am I afraid would happen if I was truly honest?

Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is admit: I’m not okay.

That honesty is the first door back to yourself.

2. Bring Back the Conversations That Matter

Most relationships don’t break because of one big moment. They break because of a thousand unsaid truths.

If you want to feel alive again, you need to start bringing truth back into your connection.

Ask the hard questions:

• What are we not talking about?
• What’s missing between us?
• Are we both still choosing this relationship — or just surviving it?

And if the other person isn’t ready, you can still choose to be honest. Because honesty, even if it’s not received, is a form of coming home to yourself.

“True couples are people that are highly honest with each other. They can sit and even go into conflict and repair.” - Satya

3. Rebuild Intimacy with Yourself First

Before asking the other person to meet you, ask yourself: Am I meeting myself?

Start reconnecting with your own body, emotions, and desires:

• Take 5 minutes in the morning before you get up. Close your eyes. Ask: What do I feel? What do I want today?
• Move your body. Dance. Walk. Breathe deeply.
• Say something you’ve been holding back, even if just to the mirror.

When you stop abandoning yourself, the world around you starts to change. Your energy changes. Your voice comes back. And from there… you can begin to see clearly: Is this relationship able to grow with me? Or am I growing beyond it?

“You need to feel your body. And from there, name what you feel. Then, you can show yourself.”

The Most Courageous Thing You Can Do for Yourself

Sometimes the most courageous thing you can do is to stay and show up fully.

Sometimes the most courageous thing is to leave because you finally chose yourself.

But no matter the outcome, what truly matters is this:

That you stop waiting for someone else to give you permission to be you.

You don’t need permission. You need honesty. You need presence.

You need yourself.

And from that place, only from that place, can true love begin again.