Healing the Pain of Separation (An Interview with Satya)

Separation is one of the most universal experiences of being human. Whether through the end of a relationship, the passing of a loved one, or the simple ache of not feeling understood, we all carry within us echoes of this ancient wound.

In today’s interview, we sit down with Satya, to explore the deeper dimensions of the pain of separation.

The Interview

Q: Why is the pain of separation such a deep wound for so many of us?

Satya: Because separation is our first trauma. We come from a state of union—inside the womb, where everything is fluid, warm, and connected—and suddenly we’re pushed into air, noise, and aloneness. That shift isn’t just physical; it’s existential. From that moment on, we are learning how to live in duality.

Every experience of loss or abandonment reactivates that primal memory. It’s not just the breakup or the death—it’s everything that came before it, that we’ve never truly processed. Separation reminds us of our vulnerability, and that is something most people try to avoid at all costs.

Q: We often hear that "everything is impermanent." Why is it so difficult to truly live that understanding?

Satya: Because the body and heart don’t follow the logic of the mind. You can read every book on non-attachment and still collapse when someone you love walks away. Why? Because what you’re feeling isn’t just about them. It’s about all the unloved parts of yourself that they helped you forget.

We cling to what we know—even if it hurts—because it gives us a false sense of safety. The unknown terrifies us. That’s why people stay in toxic relationships. Not because of love, but because of familiarity.

Q: What are the emotional symptoms that reveal someone is suffering from unresolved separation wounds?

Satya: Fear of abandonment. Difficulty letting go. An inner narrative that says, “I’m not enough.” Often, people become overly controlling, or they isolate. Some numb themselves with distractions. Others get lost in their pain, identifying with the wound so deeply they can’t imagine who they are without it.

At the core, there's a spiritual disconnection—a forgetting of who we truly are, beyond the stories.

Q: What helps most when someone is in the middle of a deep separation—like a divorce or the death of a loved one?

Satya: Presence. Being with what is, without running. That’s not easy. But it’s essential.

It’s also important to find a space where you are seen—not as a victim, but as someone in process. A therapist, a guide, a friend who doesn’t feed your story, but helps you return to yourself.

And honesty. Honest grieving. Honest rage. Honest prayers. This kind of truthfulness begins to soften the wall around the heart. It opens the way to healing.

Q: How long does healing take, in your experience?

Satya: It depends on how willing you are to face what hurts. Deep mourning often takes around two years. But if you resist, it can last a lifetime. Time doesn’t heal—presence does.

When people surrender to the process, something beautiful happens: they stop seeking to be fixed, and start learning from what is. That’s when true healing begins.

Key Takeaways

1. Separation is our first trauma, beginning at birth and echoing through every loss we experience.
2. We cling to the known—even pain—because the unknown feels unsafe.
3. Unresolved separation wounds manifest as fear, control, numbness, or emotional dependency.
4. Healing requires honesty, support, and the courage to feel without escaping.
5. True transformation doesn’t come from time—it comes from presence.

Thank you, Satya, for illuminating a truth that lives within all of us: that the pain of separation, though deeply human, can be a doorway to spiritual remembering. In a world that often urges us to move on quickly, your wisdom reminds us that healing is not a race—it’s a return.

What about you, dear reader? What separation has shaped you most? How have you navigated it?

Let us know in the comments or share this with someone you love.